Dating Chronicles,

Dating Chronicles: Nice or What??

The world of dating presents us with numerous factors to take into consideration.


So many questions that arise in your mind as you attempt to decipher the most appropriate methods of operation for this dating game. Are you being too picky when looking for a potential partner? Maybe you are not being choosey enough? One question that seems to be showing up more frequently lately is the question on how “nice” we should be to potentials. Especially for females, being pleasant and acceptable all the time can lead to disappointing or even heart breaking consequences. The real question is, to be nice to these ninjas or nah, nice or what??

 

It is said that for “perfect little girls” the ingredients should include sugar, spice, and everything nice. But how nice is too nice? Can you add too much sweetener to the mixture that produces a queen? How much sweetness should one hand to a man?  Because a man is a man, a human, and while some may appreciate the sweetness; others may take advantage of the nectar that is you.  A woman living in her sweetness has certain characteristics that can be taken for granted when they are at the disposal of the wrong person.

 

For one, she has more patience for what others may consider bullshit. 

 

She is so understanding and open to your way of life, and really takes to heart the idea that “everyone is learning and growing” She is able to look past certain dubious behavior in favor of seeing the hopeful potential of the good man that can be found deep within a fuckboy.  She will entertain the idea of a friend with benefits and a “go with the flow” type experience in hopes that if she gives a man time he will in return learn to treasure the gold he has found in her.  She has more patience for shortcomings and tries to be as understanding as she would want someone to be towards her…if she were herself lost in fuckgirl behavior.

 

Two, she gives more chances for actions that others would block with a quickness for.

 

A woman with an excessive amount of sweetness and her everything nice levels turned all the way up will give more chances to a love interest. She sees the potential of a love interest even if their actions don’t necessarily support how great their potential may seem.  She will place people in her “room for improvement” list as opposed to her “blocked” list, and will not cut someone off right away.

 

These traits are not necessarily negative, but they do have a sense of danger attached to them. A girl living in her niceness is not oblivious; she is fully aware of all the red flags and chooses to see the light at the end of the tunnel…even if she is nowhere near reaching that destination. A fuckboy will hold on to this niceness as long as he can, even if he does not intend on ever stepping into the role. This is why this type of sweet behavior in the dating game is risky, because even if you ignore you are aware and will eventually have to make a choice. A choice to either continue believing in potential, or step into the reality of actions.

 

On the other hand, a girl with too much spice may not be able to see any air of potential. In reality, we are all in fact human; most people ARE actually growing and learning every day. Someone’s actions may not be an outward expression of fuckboy tendencies, but rather an honest ignorance on how to handle a true queen.  An ignorance that is paired with a willingness to adapt has the option of developing into something real…if you let it.

 

The challenge is recognizing the right person that will adapt and not appearing closed off when they come along. And as that person adapts for you, you as a Queen will adapt to them in response, as growth should be a mutual experience and not just one sided.

 

For me, I have to accept that I need to turn down my sweet nature and take more steps into reality. I know that I have had too much niceness in the past, and have even been told that from a trusted loved one as well. Loved ones can tell you which one they think you are, but only you can accept the truth for yourself and decide how to adjust. So which one are you? Are you the woman who goes through life overloaded with spice, or are you the one giving away everything that is nice?

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BlerdLife, Movies,

June Blerdy Movie List

Summer, Summer movie time!!


I get a warm and fuzzy feeling inside when I think about the movies we have just waiting for us to watch. The month of May definitely took us on an ass kicking adventure, particularly with John Wicks lethal ass. I know June is going to be just as beastly with the movie selection that we have.

  1. Dark Phoenix – June 7th

I personally think Sophie Turner is gonna be phenomenal in this role!!! I’m so excited to see her portrayal of the “Dark Phoenix”, Jean Grey’s alter ego and arguably one of the greatest enemies the X-Men ever faced. I hope this movie will kind of make up for the original X-Men movies which fell a little sort in the epicness department. The X-Men story is such a great comic and was such a good cartoon growing up, I really hope this movie does The Phoenix story justice

  1. Shaft – June 14th

Daaaaaaaaammnn right! Who is da man?! Ok, I’mma stop lol, but seriously who isn’t excited about this movie?! We as the audience get three generations of Shaft, and I for one am all for it! I have high hopes for this movie; it seems to have everything needed to make an entertaining film. Including an amazingly talented writer, Kenya Barris creator of one of our favorite Blerdy shows Black-ish. As well as a magical cast including the great mutha fucka himself Samuel L. Jackson, Regina Hall (wit her fine ass), Jessie T. Usher, and the legend himself Richard Roundtree.

  1. MIB International – June 14th

Yeap, another Men in Black film but this time….international. AND with an appropriate amount of sexy cuz lets face it, Tommy Lee Jones just wasn’t cutting it. MIB International stars the absolutely dreamy and gorgeous Chris Hemsworth, and a beautiful example of black girl magic in Tessa Thompson, or basically Thor and Valkyrie. I actually enjoyed Men in Black III and I’m interested to see how International will continue the franchise.

  1. Toni Morrison: The Pieces I am – June 21st

Toni Morrison…icon, game-changer, and writer. The Beloved author takes us on a journey into her life, as we get a glimpse into the existence of this iconic storyteller and a look behind the themes that made the author such a legend. I’m excited for this window we get into the life of this queen; I know this documentary will only make my awe of her increase tremendously.

There’s a movie for your inner comic book nerd, a movie to encourage your black power enthusiasm, a movie for the space nerd inside of you, and a documentary for the soul; the June blerdy movies are filled with all the vibes necessary to fulfill all your movie needs. Let your imagination wander and your creativity blossom by being engulfed in a really good film this month.

Happy watching, and remember…Live well, prosper, and all dat sh*t!

BlerdLife, Event, Outings,

Blerdy Events for June

The city of Houston has SO MANY culture rich activities for us blerdies to enjoy. Check out my list for this month of just a few events H-town has to offer this month.


  1. Cotton &Cornrows – June 7th

Poetry, spoken words of realness, black people magic all around; that is what can be expected from this event. Cotton & Cornrows is featuring an amazing author, poet, and new friend Millicent Campbell with her debut poetry book Cotton & Cornrows. Her performance is guaranteed to be riveting, the art is sure to be breath taking, it is the perfect event to bring in your weekend in an oh so artistic way.

  1. 2019 Houston Reggae Fest – June 8th

I know it is gonna be hot as hell, but I would still be ready to attend Houston’s Reggae Fest and soak in all the culture and good vibes I can. This event will feature artists from all over, vendors to make you spend your coins, and authentic Jamaican and Caribbean food. Sure, it’ll be hot, but you’ll walk away with an amazing experience, happy taste buds, and memories of a good time.

  1. Anime Matsuri 2019 – June 13th – 16th

With the goal of bringing color into the world the Anime Matsuri is the place for all blerds, geeks, dreamers, and creativity seekers alike. This annual Anime and Japanese culture festival is one that is fanciful and family friendly. The entire family can enjoy the culture rich experience and ignite their imaginations for the summer.

  1. Afrobeats Block Party – June 22nd

Artists, vendors, Djs, culture heavy, vibrant glow, and a plentiful amount of black people magic. Diversity overload with this event of dance music and culture. Me, myself unfortunately will not be able to attend because I will be in a wedding. But if I wasn’t I’d be all up in this thang, diving head first into the culture.

So there it is my blerdy events for the month of June. Houston has plenty of culture rich and inspiring events to engage yourself with this month. Grab an artistic soul-mate, friend, lover, or whomever and experience this Htown culture first hand!

Missed Out On:

The month of June is packed with blerdy shit to do! I missed out of these events, but had to shout them out for their awesomeness.

H-Town Pancakes & Booze Art Show – June 1st:

The Pancakes & Booze Art Show bring vibrant art choices around the country, and this year celebrating 10 years of artistic magic featuring several Houston artists including @ucantdrawjohnny and @bedroomstrokes just to name a couple.

WriteFest Houston – WriteSpace – May 27th – June 2nd:

Every year WriteFest takes place in Houston and features so much inspiration for up and coming writers. I will definitely try my best to make it to next year’s festival; it’s a great opportunity to build writing knowledge and meet fellow writers.

Make your inner blerd happy by participating in at least one of these events, and be sure to check out my page next month for more events to take advantage of.

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Thanks for reading! Live well, prosper, and all dat sh*t!

BlerdWerd, Outings, Queendom,

NOLA Darling.

WooooW…the one word I can use to describe all the vibes from this past Memorial Day Weekend/Bachelorette Celebration for one of the heauxs in New Orleans, LA.


I always love coming to this city, and this trip just made me fall even more in love. It was the energy of the wonderful people we encountered, the ambiance of the live music down virtually every block; it was the delicious food and stiff drinks, and the laughter that filled every single minute that made this trip so special.  We celebrated and walked around that city in the full glory of who we are, black and beautiful Queens.

This trip to NOLA had so much glow it was ridiculous, just outrageous for us to shine the way we were. Visiting this magical city with this group of Queens was an experience like no other; it was as if we discovered our own secret dimension of joy and queendom. On the first night of our trip we decided to live it up at The Hangover Bar, and really bring in our trip with full NOLA vibes. We listened to bounce music, shook a little something, and ate some really delicious lemon pepper wings. The next day we continued our cuisine experience with a trip to Oceana’s on Bourbon and Conti. Let me tell you, EVERYTHING about this Oceana’s visit was on point. Our food was scrumptious and flavorful, our waitress Bree was nice and knowledgeable, and we even got free crab cakes as a bonus! We were so full we had no choice but to walk on Bourbon St. for a hand grenade and a brief dance intermission at Razzoo’s. That evening we went back on Bourbon St. and partied until 4am, the full details of that night not to be discussed on this blog lol. On our last night, we experienced a beautiful surprise by eating dinner at Morrow’s a petite restaurant with full R&B vibes; before ending the night real chill on Frenchman St. Of course, before we left the next morning we had to hit up Café Du Monde for some strong ass coffee and deliciously sweet beignets.

All of the adventures from the trip were oozing with a good time, however the best part of our journey wasn’t even the activities we partook in. It was more than the good food and drinks, it was the laughter shared between four sister-friends and the freedom of being nothing else other than ourselves. We didn’t dress according to anyone else’s dress code, we didn’t speak in the politically correct manner that we would at the workplace, and we sure as hell didn’t give any fucks to how much we laughed and joked no matter what public place we were in. We were simply OURSELVES, and nothing could be grander and more freeing than living your life with no filters. Zero limitations, and no one around to judge, just a handful of like-minded individuals who pride themselves on their ability to let you be you. That is what was so amazing about this trip, to live and be accepted for exactly who we are.

Now that the trip is over, and the work hats are placed back on, I struggle to figure out a plan of action. I am uneasy because I have lived with no barriers and I want to experience that life more often and more completely. I want to live with no filters daily and not only on vacations or time away from work. To live my as completely me full time is the new goal. Now all I have to do is figure out how to get there…

 

Memories....

 

 

A Blerdy View, Movies,

May Blerdy Movie List.

We even got the Month of May for movies!! (A little Temptations reference for my old school R&B lovers lol)


Typically, I expect the month of May to kick off our Summer as a prelude to movie awesomeness. This year however, I feel like the movies released this month could’ve had a little more bang for our buck. On the other hand, with us still reeling over the Endgame buzz I guess it is ok to let May glide us into our summertime movie going as opposed to thrusting us there. Without any further delay, here are my blerdy picks for the month of May.

 

  1. John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum May 17, 2019

John Wick is back! And it seems he is definitely ready to kick some ass in this third installment to the John Wick movie series. With the entire league of deadly assassins on his back, John Wick, portrayed by Neo oh I mean Keanu Reaves, must fight for his life literally against a murderous army of like-minded killers. However, this time he won’t be alone, Keanu will be joined by black girl magic royalty Ms. Halle Berry herself. Now…whenever I think of Halle Berry in an action film it reminds me of Catwoman and I cringe, but the trailer makes it seem like Halle really commitment to a role of action. This role may revitalize her as a woman of color actress who can also kick ass; well at least I hope it does.

 

  1. The Sun is Also a Star – May 17, 2019

Typically, I am not drawn to a romantic film unless it has action, or in this case a deep ass story line. Our favorite daughter from Black-ish is starring in her own profound love story, where a boy is trying his best to win HER beautiful black girl heart. The Sun is Also a Star is based on the book with the same name following the story of two young people brought together by fate, connected by love, and threatened to be torn apart by society’s malfunctions. How can love survive when the country we live in is so keen on separation?

 

  1. Aladdin – May 24, 2019

Arguably my favorite Disney movie as a child has been transformed into a live adaptation. I still have tears in my eyes knowing that unlike The Lion King that was able to have royalty reprise their role in James Earl Jones, we will not be able to see Robin Williams portray the live version of the Genie. I know his voice and overall comical genius will leave a hole missing in this film. However, I am hoping that our brother Will Smith will be able to bring something new and refreshing to this classic. Make Robin proud Will!

 

  1. Ma – May 31, 2019

When I first saw the preview to this movie my initial thought was, “what the hell is Octavia Spencer’s beastly actin ass doin in this movie and to these white kids?!” And more importantly why?? Pure curiosity to the structure of the villain and her behavior drives me to see this film. I want to see this amazing, iconic actress, take on this sinister role and the story behind Ma’s choices.

 

  1. Rocketman – May 31, 2019

ROCKETMAAANNN!!! *said in my Elton John voice* Yes! A biopic about Elton John deserves to be experienced on the big screen. I’m not too familiar with the origin story of Elton John so I am excited to see how this powerhouse and legend came to be. Also, I’m excited to see our favorite Kingsman, Taron Egerton, in a dramatic biopic. I’m hoping he’ll show off some acting skills viewers would’ve never guessed him to posses.

 

All of the movies for this fifth month of the year are sure to bring us new and exciting features that will spark our movie going urges for the entire summer. We have a plethora of roles to look forward, and a summer time of happy movie adventures.

 

Which movies are you excited to see??

 

Thank you for reading! Live well, prosper, and all dat sh*t!

 

Subscribe to my blog to make sure you never miss a post blerdie!

BlerdWerd, MindFood,

Evading Negativity

“Jaleesa, you have the tendency to think negatively and speak on it even when you aren’t noticing it”


Well damn…it takes a true friend to tell you some real shit like that. Not only are my thoughts negative but I speak on this negativity automatically almost as natural as blinking my eyes or scratching an inch. While I did feel some type of way about her statement, my new level of growth couldn’t ignore the truth in it. What an incredible revelation to come face to face with; your own affliction towards yourself.

Self acknowledgement is like that first workout after forming a habit of skipping the gym, painful but necessary. Self acknowledgement can come from many different sources, including the truthful words of your inner circle. This is why you have an inner circle, to not only have people who are there for you no matter what, but also people who have no hesitation on calling you out on your shit.

“There you go with that negative shit again, you need to stop speaking on that shit”

So…true. Granted the subject we were speaking on was a subject I have had numerous hurts in; I have sustained repeated injuries from an array of weaponry used by a variety of foes. However, that is no excuse to carry the negativity from the past around with me in my present or future. I can think of numerous excuses and justifications for why I think this way. I can proclaim that it was my childhood upbringing to expect something bad to happen, and speak on all the possibilities of realities. I can make the declaration that I am a realist and speak what can come true, but I know that both of those reasoning’s are just cop outs.

Just because my upbringing has garnered certain behaviors does not mean I have to continue those behaviors into adulthood. Also, being a realist is not limited to only speaking of the negative options of life. Being a realist is also speaking on the real possibility of positive changes, positive situations, and positive accomplishments happening in life. I have chosen to speak on the negativity in the past, but with it being shoved in my face my habitual negative behavior I could no longer operate this way. I owe it to myself and the growth I have made within myself to think of and believe in the positive, and break my habit of pessimism.

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MindFood,

Sisters and Brothers in Arms

When she walked into my office I recognized her immediately.


. It wasn’t her looks or appearance that sparked my recollection, no it wasn’t what she looked like. It wasn’t her attire, no not her outfit that I recognized. It wasn’t even her voice that fostered a memory in my mind, no nothing that she sounded like. It was her demeanor that was familiar, the emotion she brought into the room when she entered it. It was the look on her face, the tears swelling in her eyes, and the sense of new found helplessness in the tone of her voice that I was well accustomed to. I recognized her by her anxiety, because it was the same thing I feel and see when I am under attack.

Other people in the room were shocked at her conduct as she entered the office; flustered and clearly upset. The look of question was written all over everyone’s face, with the thought of “Is she crying?” tattooed in their expressions. Everyone in the office seemed astounded by her emotion and tears, everyone but me. I knew exactly where she was coming from and what state she was in. I knew that same feeling of desperation for calm, and the feeling of being utterly out of control in more ways than one. Other people may have had the thought of, “her day must not be going well” when in reality it is probably her entire week that had added multiple variables of stress leading her to this conclusion. Here she was now standing in a busy office full of pedestrians with tears in her eyes seeking some help.

She was lost and in need of some direction around our big campus to know where she should take her children. That’s all; she needed some guidance, and unfortunately hadn’t come in contact with any decently helpful people. Maybe it was the inflection in her voice, or the tears she was failing at holding back. It could have been her obvious attempt to hold onto her strength as she was overcome with an overwhelming sense of frustration. As the failure of her attempted grasp on composure was beginning to register and she couldn’t even voice her need without the tears she was holding back breaking free from all their constraints to fall on her face. I rose from my seat immediately to assist, to grasp her hand and let her know I was going to help her. I couldn’t let her sink further into that hole of panic and despair; I had to grab hold of her and lead her out.

I saw myself in this stranger, I saw a place I’ve been numerous times, the place of extraordinary panic. Luckily for me at this particular moment when she entered my office I was not at this place of panic, but I knew how she felt and I knew at any moment I could be just as desperate for calm as she was. I lead her to exactly where she needed to be, and I listened to her as she explained to me her current trouble. It wasn’t long that our conversation turned from her current turmoil to her life’s frustration. It wasn’t just her directionally challenging moment that had her in a fluster, it was the week she had, and the emotions she had been carrying around with her for the past few days.

She explained how she was very anxious and felt quite helpless when she entered my office looking for assistance. I told her I understood, and had been at the very same place she had been. Although, I am not a mother, I haven’t experienced her exact life circumstances. I have experienced my own version of terror and I have experienced my own version of desperation. Anxiety shows up to many different people with many different faces. It is important for those who struggle with and who are learning to overcome anxiety to share with one another, and uplift each other. We will always battle with anxiety; it’s like our archenemy in life always returning to challenge our character. It is important for us to recognize our sisters and brothers in arms in this daily battle against fear.

WE have the ability to help lead one another to our place of calm.

MindFood,

Stolen Star – A Tribute to Nipsey

Bright and luminous. Powerful and alluring. Able to bring light in the darkness and place sparkles in your eyes.


A Star is always an entity that we have no choice but to look up to, and by that definition alone we can associate a star to our lost brother Nipsey Hustle. He was more than a musician and so much more than a once upon a time gang member. Nipsey Hustle was a lover, a father, a son, a friend, and a true crusader for his community and culture. His actions and efforts should inspire us to look beyond his past and focus on the magic he was working on before he was taken from this earth so violently.

“We got turned down, we failed, had set backs, had to start over a lot of times. But we kept going at it. In anybody’s case that’s always the distinguishing factor.” – Nipsey Hussle

Nipsey redefined the Americanized definition of a black man from the hood. He reshaped his negativity into positive avenues of greatness. He did what he had to do to survive growing up, and recreated his life to the fullest when given the opportunity to. We all remember him as an artist, releasing mix tapes and albums, and eventually opening his own label; a label he would go on to release his Grammy nominated album Victory Lap. He also focused his life on making a way for others in the community he grew up in to produce solutions for the problem of gang life in order to survive. Nipsey even had a meeting with LAPD scheduled to discuss gun violence and was not shy about sharing his history of gang life. A history he knew was a building block to who he was, and a learning experience he can foster change through. Change he was dedicated to enforcing and putting strong effort to.

When you speak on Nipsey and his passing, leave out the judgments of what could have led to his death. Leave out his past as a justification to his slaying, or his environment as a place where “something like that always happens”. Focus instead on the truth behind the loss of Nipsey Hussle; that the bottom line is we lost a champion, a brother who was making movement for change and giving back instead of selfishly holding on to his knowledge and influence. We lost a black man that was making waves, and at the end of the day we need more action from people like him instead of more frivolous discussions.

Rest in Peace and Power Nipsey.

 

**Photo Cred @wknd.hero**

A Blerdy View, Movies, Outings,

A Blerdy View: Us

Jordan Peele has done it again! He has succeeded in creating a truly unique and suspenseful thriller that will leave you full of thoughts after seeing it.


After turning heads and opening eyes with his first film Peele returns to be even more thought provoking than before; while also providing an excellent display of black magic in the process.

Peele definitely did a great job following up Get Out with releasing Us. Us is a movie with similar suspense and horror, but a completely different vibe than its predecessor. Us took me places I had no idea the movie was going to go, which is so refreshing because I was not forced to sit through a predictable story line. The movie made you jump in your seat, yell out at the screen, and look at your neighbor with the “aw hell naw” face whenever the antagonists in the film made a creepy move. In addition to the unpredictable storyline, as a viewer you could not help but to notice the amazing acting throughout the film.

“There’s a family in our driveway” *looks at neighbor aw hell naw face applies*

And it was in fact the actors playing nice family and evil family simultaneously throughout the film with an equal amount of innocence and creepiness. Lupita shinned in her leading role! The black girl magic was so real! Absolutely motherly, and absolutely terrifying and crazy; she acted her ass off in this film and really made you see how messed up it would be to fight your evil self.

Lupita’s performance did not outshine her costars however they were also equally as relatable and terrifying. The daughter played by Shahadi Wright…was just fucking creepy no other way to put it. She portrayed the typical teenage girl and the beastly villain all in one. Evan Alex who played the son also did an amazing job in the film portraying himself and his crazed doppelganger. Also, Winston Duke showing off his acting chops, being hilarious in one scene and showing up all big and mean on another. They played both sides and played them very well. Neither character was exactly the same as the other nor did they share any creepy traits. The characters and their doppelgangers were individuals and acted out perfectly.

All in all it was a great movie, one that I definitely want to watch again because it did leave me scratching my head. I still might like Get Out better than Us even with how great Us is. The ending might have fucked with me a little too much, but isn’t that what horror is supposed to do to you?

Us is definitely blerdy approved for your viewing, and recommended to see in theaters with friends. This is a movie I am actually grateful to have seen in theaters and want to see it on the big screen at least one more time.

A Blerdy View, Movies,

A Blerdy View: Captain Marvel

Soaring to the big screen and into Marvel universe glory is the highly anticipated film, Captain Marvel.


Marvel fans have waited to see the new hero and witness her origin story. Female marvel fans may have had an increased level of excitement to see what this bad ass super hero could do, and we weren’t disappointed. Captain Marvel showed off her kick ass fighting style, as well as her extensive power. While it may not have been Marvels best movie to date, it definitely wasn’t the worst (Sorry Captain America your first movie still holds that crown).

Captain Marvel tickled my interest completely from the first preview all the way to the ending of Infinity War when Fury pressed his panic button right on time before completely disintegrating into nothingness. The role being brought to life by actress Brie Larson also peaked my interest; I wanted to see what this actress could bring to a super hero as powerful Captain Marvel. How can she portray this powerful being? And would she be relatable? So many times super hero’s or heroine’s are missing qualities that make you feel as though they could understand you as a person. A super righteous alien from another planet or an Amazon princess with limited life experience is not likely to understand all the woes of humanity, no matter how great they are. The most dominant question was this; could any girl see herself as being Captain Marvel?

After seeing the movie I believe my answer would be yes.

Any girl with enough determination and guts could end up in the same circumstances that bred Captain Marvel. What made Captain Marvel extraordinary in the film was not just her amazing power or where that power came from, it was her humanity. Having emotions and using those emotions as her strength even when others advised against it. Marvel as a universe excels at making magnificent beings of power, while also making those characters as relatable as you and me.

The film as a whole however….was a film I could’ve waited to see at home, I’m not gonna lie. It’s not that the film didn’t have cinematic affect it just felt as though something was missing in order to make the film truly mind blowing. Maybe it was lacking a more in depth hidden back story or perhaps the speed of the storyline was too fast.  Maybe it was the mind battle where she defeated a portion of her foes, or maybe it was how she defeated that foe, I really can’t say for sure. However, I can say that there was just a little something missing from Captain Marvel to make the movie absolutely amazing. Whatever the case may be it is still definitely a movie to see, it’s just not a bad choice if you decide to skip the theater.

I will watch it again whenever it comes to Netflix or whatever entity Disney is going to create to fuck some things up. Even with the lack of cinematic necessity I will still say Captain Marvel is blerdy approved for your view, even from the comforts of your own home.