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Living Single

Dating Chronicles, Living Single, Queendom,

Pound Cake

Sweet and soft. Full of flavor and able to satisfy any sweet tooth. Perfect in the morning for a pick-me-up and even better at night for a midnight snack.


You can have it cold or warmed up, it’s good either way. Oh how delicious and soul satisfying is your favorite piece of pound cake. Needs no icing and if some is added it better be just as tasty as the cake or else don’t even bother with it. The concept of pound cake originated from a fellow writer and artistic soul mate of mine, Ms. Tracy @peacefulsgroove, during one of our writing meet-ups. Laughing over drinks and snacks we usually end up creating more conversations than short stories, but mayne are they GOOD talks. These talks actually end up giving me so much more to write about, especially when the discussion leads to a beautiful self discovery and a renewed perception of my own self definition.

As my writing group and I were attempting to embark on our weekly writing journey the discussion of self-love and dating emerged to successfully get us off track. We began to discuss how everyone must reach a point where they are comfortable with exactly who they are and see themselves as complete; needing no one else and not afraid of solitude. It is essential that we take the time to learn how to love every inch and aspect of ourselves, first, before seeking to add someone else to our lives. Not desiring a relationship or relations simply to combat loneliness, but rather embracing the beauty of the personal relationship you have with self. Our individual ingredients and prep time has to be completed all the way through, from mixture to finished product, prior to emerging ourselves into a romantic relationship. We have to learn to see ourselves like pound cake, needing no additional garnish in order to feel absolute.

“Pound cake don’t need nothin’, anything added to it is extra...”

To see myself as whole and complete, needing nothing but the creator and the ingredients he used to construct me, is such a powerful idea. What a statement to chew over, that anything else added to me is extra, and shouldn’t take from me or define me but rather add to the already complete me. This thought process would require me to see myself as lacking nothing and not requiring anyone in order to achieve happiness or acknowledge my self worth. I would have to grow to believe in my truly exquisite existence and be confident in my value. Confident enough to stand on a platter alone and declare with all certainty. I. Make. This. Plate.

“Pound cake don’t need nothin’…”

My friends voice replays in my head like a mutha fuckin mantra weighing heavy on my soul and burrowing deep within my mind. The conversation led me to question how my current thought process is set up. How am I really living my life and seeing myself. Am I comfortable and confident in my existence all on its own? Or am I constantly searching to fill my value with the company of someone else?

“Pound cake don’t need nothin’…”

I hear it again, yelling at my innerself, the phrase that is a necessity to live by. The words that need to blend in with how I feel about myself, just as pound cake don’t need nothin’, neither do I. Just like any garnish with pound cake should be adding value, so does anyone who has the fortune to be added to me.

“You should know you are the shit all on your own before anyone else is added.”

I should know this! But…how often do I question it? How often do I doubt the blackgirlmagic that is me? When you have knowledge of a fact you normally don’t go back and forth on the validity of your intelligence. For instance, no one has to convince you that the sky is blue or water is wet, you know this. That is the type of confidence she was speaking of, knowing you are the shit without any doubts. We should have complete knowledge of our personal bad assness, and know that we as individuals are the perfect dessert without any garnish.

“Pound cake don’t need nothin’”

It is good all on its own, and I am long overdue to start living in that belief regarding myself. This is a concept that I had to share because often I catch myself being skeptical of my own value, due to a number of different reasons. However, the time has come for me to actively pursue putting those thoughts to rest, and truly find peace with the awesomeness that is me. It is ok for me to know my worth and expect others to treat me accordingly. And it is also ok for me to take my time and wait for the one who will treasure me as I deserve to be treasured. Because if you aren’t adding to my worth you cannot be added to me; I’m pound cake and I don’t need nothin’ added in order to be complete.

 

 

 

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