The world of dating presents us with numerous factors to take into consideration.
So many questions that arise in your mind as you attempt to decipher the most appropriate methods of operation for this dating game. Are you being too picky when looking for a potential partner? Maybe you are not being choosey enough? One question that seems to be showing up more frequently lately is the question on how “nice” we should be to potentials. Especially for females, being pleasant and acceptable all the time can lead to disappointing or even heart breaking consequences. The real question is, to be nice to these ninjas or nah, nice or what??
It is said that for “perfect little girls” the ingredients should include sugar, spice, and everything nice. But how nice is too nice? Can you add too much sweetener to the mixture that produces a queen? How much sweetness should one hand to a man? Because a man is a man, a human, and while some may appreciate the sweetness; others may take advantage of the nectar that is you. A woman living in her sweetness has certain characteristics that can be taken for granted when they are at the disposal of the wrong person.
For one, she has more patience for what others may consider bullshit.
She is so understanding and open to your way of life, and really takes to heart the idea that “everyone is learning and growing” She is able to look past certain dubious behavior in favor of seeing the hopeful potential of the good man that can be found deep within a fuckboy. She will entertain the idea of a friend with benefits and a “go with the flow” type experience in hopes that if she gives a man time he will in return learn to treasure the gold he has found in her. She has more patience for shortcomings and tries to be as understanding as she would want someone to be towards her…if she were herself lost in fuckgirl behavior.
Two, she gives more chances for actions that others would block with a quickness for.
A woman with an excessive amount of sweetness and her everything nice levels turned all the way up will give more chances to a love interest. She sees the potential of a love interest even if their actions don’t necessarily support how great their potential may seem. She will place people in her “room for improvement” list as opposed to her “blocked” list, and will not cut someone off right away.
These traits are not necessarily negative, but they do have a sense of danger attached to them. A girl living in her niceness is not oblivious; she is fully aware of all the red flags and chooses to see the light at the end of the tunnel…even if she is nowhere near reaching that destination. A fuckboy will hold on to this niceness as long as he can, even if he does not intend on ever stepping into the role. This is why this type of sweet behavior in the dating game is risky, because even if you ignore you are aware and will eventually have to make a choice. A choice to either continue believing in potential, or step into the reality of actions.
On the other hand, a girl with too much spice may not be able to see any air of potential. In reality, we are all in fact human; most people ARE actually growing and learning every day. Someone’s actions may not be an outward expression of fuckboy tendencies, but rather an honest ignorance on how to handle a true queen. An ignorance that is paired with a willingness to adapt has the option of developing into something real…if you let it.
The challenge is recognizing the right person that will adapt and not appearing closed off when they come along. And as that person adapts for you, you as a Queen will adapt to them in response, as growth should be a mutual experience and not just one sided.
For me, I have to accept that I need to turn down my sweet nature and take more steps into reality. I know that I have had too much niceness in the past, and have even been told that from a trusted loved one as well. Loved ones can tell you which one they think you are, but only you can accept the truth for yourself and decide how to adjust. So which one are you? Are you the woman who goes through life overloaded with spice, or are you the one giving away everything that is nice?